RMFL Helmet



Current RMFL teams
In the Order they joined the league

Bedwetters helmet
Boulders Helmet Fleas Helmet Latchkey kids Helmet
Mad Cows Helmet
Sewer Rats Helmet
Hippies Helmet
Smokers Helmet
muffins helmet trekkies helmet convicts helmet cannabis helmet
redcoats helmet
midgets Helmet
Headless Beavers Helmet
killer ponies
Nerds of War helmet
Manhogs helmets
big mean kitties Helmet
Instant Messengers Helmet
raging keggers Helmet
nature boys helmet
Pandas helmet
Pandas helmet
Crackwhores Helmet
killer iguanas helmet
Postal Workers Helmet
horny devils helmet
Mohica Riots Waterless Sharks Nuclear Powered Nuns doodle town reggies

Teams that never came to be

The Princess Leyah Space Hippies

Yes that's true the small famous town that was founded by the Ultimate Star Fights Geek almost came to be. The reason the Team never came to be was because the Owner of the Team Donald Chump did not want a Bookey as the team mascot. A Bookey is big hairy creature from the famed movie series. Chump did not want to do this because he would have to pay Gorge Pucas royalties for the use of his character and Chump is known as a stingy rich snob who refused to bow down to the town founder. Mr. Chump then decided to take his team to Woodstock and just called them the Hippies.

The Sluttville Horny Housewives

There was no joy in sluttville for this team that never came to be. No word on who the owner was going to be but it certainly looked like this team had alot of backing by Womens rights activists of the time. Some say it was gonna be famous kid actress Slut Sluttington but it is not known. The Team was gonna be called The Desperate Housewives at first but to avoid a lawsuit they changed it to the Horny Housewives. The city at the last minute pulled out of the deal and the team never came to be. They we're scheduled to debut in Season 2 but they failed to file there papers.

Bacon County Bedwetters

Owner Dick Craven
Coach Robby Night

Joined the league in Season 1

Notes and Quotes:

Notes: The Bedwetters we're one of the original 3 teams to join the league. Rumor has it that the uniforms we're made in a childrens sweat shop and some children we're harmed in the making of the uniforms. The team is owned by millionaire playboy and former gay prostitute Dick Craven.

Kawlorado Boulders

Owner Jesse The Buddy Bentura
Coach Harry Blitzer

Joined the league in Season 1

Notes and Quotes:

Notes: The 3rd Team to join the league. Nothing much to say about this team just yet except that famous Wrestler Jesse Bentura forked over the cash to bring this team into existence.

One Interesting Fact about this team they haven't had a losing season thus far and they've been around since season 1. The broke even on one season 8-8 but that's as close as they got to a losing season.

Greasy Valley Fleas

Owner Kiwi Herman
Coach Toe (The Whiner) Jheissman
Previous Coach Moe Jibbs (Fired after first preseason game)

Joined the league in Season 1

Notes and Quotes

Notes: The 2nd of the 3 teams that we're first to join the league. Coach Moe Jibbs was replaced by Jheissman after only his first pre season game because he decided to go for the win instead of a field goal that would've sent the meaningless preSeason game into overtime. The attempt failed so the Coach was run out of town and fired by owner Kiwi Herman. He was later hired by the Bay of Men ManHogs.

Both Coaches hate each other even tho Jheissman played for Moe Jibbs and together they made love to each other and won a championship in the MFL. A rivalry may be brewin here you never know but these 2 teams will rarely face each other because they are in different conferences.

Johnsonville Latch Key Kids

Owner Spanky Nuñez
Coach Lince Bacardi

Joined the league in Season 1

Notes and Quotes:

Notes: Originally this team was gonna play at Arsole but they moved to Johnsonville just before the Season started

Star of the Wolf Network sitcom Jacob in the Center Spanky Nuñez presents the Latchkey Kids. He named Lince Bacardi as his main man, Spanky said that he will bitch and whine like a little girl and promised the crowd at the press conference that he would get on Lince's back if he doesn't get things goin right off the bat. Lince had a look of regret but from what we've heard he got paid a generous amount of money.

The Latchkey Kids were season 2 champs

Menfiss MadCows

Menfiss Mad Cows
Owner Milky Pornhusker
Coach Bart Shell

Joined the league in Season 1

Notes: In there early years the Mad Cows we're a very cocky team and even tho they had some successfull runs they we're the laughing stock of the league. There arrogance was there downfall.

The Mad Cows Finally won the Punch Bowl Trophy in Season 5 the year they dropped the Cocky attitude against a very tough Boulder Defense. It was the Toughest season ever for Mad Cow QB Chris Pasket because he was mourning the Death of his Pet Gold Fish FuFu. He overcame the odds and somehow pulled off the Miracle that finally got the Monkey off the off there backs.

The Mad Cows won yet another Punch Bowl in Season 9 with Veteran Journeyman Billie McCloud at the Helm

Sasquatch Creek Sewer Rats

The Sasquatch Creek Sewer Rats
Owner Phil Bates
Coach Dike Mitka

Joined the league in Season 1

Team Notes: This team is known to have caused the famous Seat Cushion massacre of Season 1 against the Sewer Rats in the Disgusting Animal Bowl

Woodstock Hippies


Uniforms from Season 1-6
Uniforms Season 7
Uniforms Seasons 1 - 6
Uniforms Seasons 7 - Present

Woodstock Hipis
Owner Ronald Chump
Coach Chuck Knome

Joined the league in Season 1

Notes: The Woodstock Hippies are a team that have had decent seasons here and there but rarely get attention. On several occassions they've held protest rallies to stir up controversy but to no avail.

Marlboro Country Chainsmokers

The Chainsmokers are one of 2 teams who have Home and Away Helmets

Manhogs helmets Manhogs helmets
Home Helmet
Away Helmet

The Marlboro Country Chainsmokers
Lou Heffer
Moe Fontana

Joined the league in Season 1

Notes: The Chainsmokers are fairly odd team. They are the only original team to not make a playoff appearance. They've had some decent starts from time to time but many crittics think it's because they play in a very tough division. The Chainsmokers have only had 2 Winning Seasons up til season 8 10-6 and 9-7 but they've never been at the bottom of the loser's bracket their worst record being 6-10 in their first 8 seasons.

Enterprise Trekkies

Manhogs helmets Manhogs helmets
Home Helmet
Away Helmet


The Enterprise Trekkies
Owner William Fatner
Coach Tom Belidick

Joined the league in Season 1

Notes: The Trekkies because we're the first to last team to make it to the Playoffs. They made the Playoffs in Season 8 for the first time in the Franchise's History. They didn't make much noise in the First Appearance they got Whooped by the Hippies. On several occassions they got off to some nice starts but faded away as the season went on. During this stretch the Team had 3 winning seasons 10-6, 9-7, and 9-7. The team was considering firing Coach Belidick but making the playoffs may have saved his job.

The Mean Bay Muffins

The Mean Bay Muffins
Owner Ike Borden
Coach Tom Candry

Joined the league in Season 1

Notes: The Muffin Defense is known as the Fruitcake Defense.

Alkatraz Convicts

Alkatraz Convicts
Owner A.J. Samson
Coach Mel Davis

Joined the league in Season 1

Notes: The Alkatraz Convicts are a team that started out strong with QB Dirty Sanchez at the helm but has faded away with an occassional playoff appearance here and there. Dirty Sanchez was the first player drafted into the RMFL ever and he retired early because he wanted to pursue other jobs in the entertainment industry but came back for Season 9 because he never landed a job and ran out of cash for cheap Hookers and beer.

Hamsterdam Cannabis

The hamsterdam Cannabis
Owner Tommy Wong
Coach Dicky Williams

Joined the league in Season 1

Notes: A mysterious smoke lingers thru out the Stadium at all times and no one really knows what it is or where it comes from. Everyone each fan that leaves the Stadium always consumes an insane amount food. Hamsterdam has become the fast food capital of the world because of it. For some odd reason the smoke has no effect on any of the Cannabis players.

Bean Town Redcoats

Owner Ben Jaflak
Coach Bryan Cocks

Joined the league in Season 1

Old Pork Midgets


George Mindbender (The Greedy owner of the Old Nork Spankees)
Coach Bill Marcels

Quotes and Notes:
The Little Engine that Could Defense they earned this nick name in season 1 by there Coach Bill Marcels when they handed a very strong offensive Convicts team with the Number 1 overall Pick Dirty Sanchez as there Quarterback there very first loss.

The Old Pork Midgets join the league as well as the 14th team to join the league. Start spreading the news cuz Old Pork City has a brand new team that resembles there MFL Counterparts the Old Pork Big people. The owner is The Greedy owner of the famous Baseball team the Old Pork Spankees George Mindbender.

Joined the league in Season 1

Angus Valley Headless Beavers

Owner George Looney
Coach John Fadden

Joined the league in Season 1

Team Notes: This team is known for the famous Seat Cushion massacre of Season 1 against the Sewer Rats in the Disgusting Animal Bowl

Detver Killer Ponies


Owner Don Elbay
Coach Dan Jeeves

Joined the League in Season 1

Notes and Quotes:

Notes: The Killer Ponies won the first ever Punch Bowl under Coach Dan Jeeves. The Punch Bowl Trophy is now also known as the Dan Jeeves trophy.

Nicknamed the Giddy up Offense by Owner Don Elbay

They will play in Kilometer High Stadium.

The Logo looks like it was blatantly stolen but Don Elbay was from the MFL Detver Horses but maybe he got permission to use it from his former team. At this point it is Unknown but the Uniforms kinda look like a mix of the 80's and Present day Detver Horses Uniforms.

Noogey Knee Nerds of War

Owner Moody Allen
Coach Jeff Vanbundy

Joined the League in Season 1

Notes: From Seasons 1 - 6 they played in Wanhatten Old Pork State but then in Season 7 they moved to Noogey Knee to become the Noogey Knee Nerds of War. The City of Wanhattan didn't even noticed that they moved.

Bay of Men Manhogs

Uniform History

Manhogs Uniforms Season 1-3 Season 4 - Present Manhog Uniforms
ManHogs Uniforms Season 1 - 3
ManHogs Uniforms Season 4 - Present

Helmet Hystory

Manhogs helmets Manhogs helmets
Helmet Season 1-3
Season 4 - Present

Old Helmet Season 1 - 4

Bay of Men Manhogs
Owner Richard Timmons
Coach Moe Jibbs

Joined the League in Season 1

Team Notes: Coach Moe Jibbs became the first Coach to lose his job after he lost his first ever preseason game as coach of the Greasy Valley Fleas and also became the first coach to get a 2nd gig with the Bay of Men ManHogs. Owner Richard Timmons fired Coach George Sichael and quickly hired Moe to coach his team. Click here for full story

The ManHogs switched there uniforms sometime between Week 3 or 4 of the 4th Season. They we're heavy favorites to win it all in season 3 but lost in there first playoff match against the Midgets 31-16. These Uniforms we're supposed to push them over the edge but they got off to a rocky start. The Team also changed it's logo and Team Colors as seen in the uniform.

Martyrville Big Mean Kitties

Martyrville BigMeanKitties
Owner Bon Jon Bovi
Coach Prime Slime Peon Danders

Joined the League in Season 2

Notes: This team is best known for it's offense but little by little their defense has improved and there offense has slipped a little. Pretty much leaving themselves in the same state. They've made several playoff appearances and have owned their Divsion in the past few years.

Aohell Instant Messengers

Aohell Instant Messengers
Owner Fustin Bimbolake
Coach Bob Poops

Joined the League in Season 2

Notes: The AoHell Instant Messengers are pretty strong team mostly known for their offense and almost going undefeated in their first season of play as an expansion team. They won their first 10 games in a row on their first season and finished with a 13-3 record and lost their first playoff game ever. They made it to the Punch Bowl in Season 6 but lost to the Boulders.

Party Town RagingKeggers

Party Town RagingKeggers
Owner Ed Kennedy (The Heavy drinkin politician that is still standing)
Coach Heavy Drinker

Joined the League in Season 2

Garden of Eden Nature Boys

Garden of Eden Nature Boys
Owner Don Jeremy (Famous Porn Star)
Coach Stacy Lords (Famous Porn Star)(Uniforms will be naked men with Loin Cloths like Tarzan)

Joined the League in Season 2

Kotechs Bloody Tampons

Kotechs Bloody Tampons
Owner Doria Allred (Famous Feminist)
Head Coach Pam Michael Stevens

Joined the League in Season 3

Notes:The Defense was dubbed the PMS defense early in Season 4 for devouring the Muffin Offense like an angry woman on the rag. The Muffins we're actually scared for there lives in this game. Coach Pam gave them the name just before the game and it stuck.

Goober Town Pandas

The Goober Town Pandas
Owner Dr. Goose (Famous author of the book Green Weed and Beer)
Head Coach Jete Marroll

Joined in Season 3


Tinsel Town Crackwhores
Owner Tourtney Dove (lead singer of the band Slut)
Coach Rennis Jodman

Entered the league in Season 3

Killer Iguanas

Cochino Valley Killer Iguanas
Owner Pelvis Chestley
Chester Bigbewbs

Entered the League in Season 3

Notes: The Killer Iguanas won the Punch Bowl Trophy in Season 7 a season that had a 17 game schedule. They we're an up and down team that season. They got off to a great start by winning 3 of there first 4 games but then lost 5 games in a row and these we're severe beatings including a loss to the team they beat in the Punch Bowl. The Boulders beat them in Week 6 62-13 and people began forgetting about them because they had a weak defense that actually showed flashes of Brilliance when they got off to the Great Start. Then they turned it on again by winning there last 6 games against some pretty talented teams. They put the beatdown on the Leeroy Medina and the Killer Ponies 79-47. They also won alot of close games against the Latchkey Kids and the Midgets but when they almost lost to the Crackwhores in the last game of the Season many crittics started shaking there heads again. This team has been known for there offense but in the Playoffs there Defense carried them and most of there games in the Post Season we're low scoring close games.

Noogatacha Postalworkers

postal workers

Noogatacha Postalworkers
Owner Marty Cochenheimer
Coach Marty Cochenheimer

Notes: The team unveiled it's uniforms weeks before the season was over. There is rumors that angry postal workers will join the team. Owner Marty Cochenheimer made himself the coach of the Team and currently the league has no rule against it.

The Away Helmet doesn't have the Logo only the Home helmet and no reason was given when members from the press brought it up.

Entered the League in Season 4

Los Diablos Horny Devils


Los Diablos Horny Devils

Owner Zack Dicholson
Coach Dick Fisher

Entered the League in Season 4

Mohica Ritos

Mohica Riots

Mohica Riots

Owner Lizzy Gordon
Coach Peeper Triblowlicek

Notes: This team had some success from the Get go since they aquired QB Carlos Bracken but have slowly been declining as he continues to age.

Entered the League in Season 4

The Mimia Waterless Sharks


The Mimia Waterless Sharks

Owner Screw Mesomemore (starred in such movies as Poison Oak, G.T. Gross Terrestial, and Chuck's Devils)
Coach Scoop Puppy Dawg (The Rap Star/ Pop Warner Football Coach)

Notes: The Waterless Sharks name comes from an incident that occurred back in 1983. On a Sunny Afternoon on August 14 1983 the City of Mimia was attacked by roughly over 3,000 Sharks that appeared to be out of water and completely dry. These Waterless Sharks came out and killed everyone in sight and actually broke into homes, Businesses, and schools. They killed everyone in the city with the exception of 6 people who slept thru the incident.

No one knew where they came from or where they went after the bloody massascre had occurred. There is some news footage that was recorded of the attacks but apparently the government thought it was fake because these sharks we're 9 feet tall and looked unreal. By the time the government got off there lazy asses to help it was too late and the Sharks we're no where to be found. Somehow the City rose from the ashes and is still on the road to a full recovery.

It only took the Sharks 3 days to wipe the city clean. Screw named the team the Waterless Sharks to honor those who died in that massacre. Scoop Puppy Dawg says if those Sharks come around again he will be ready for them. The team will donate nothing to Families who lost loved ones in the Waterless Shark Massacre of 1983.

The Waterless Sharks are the 2nd team in league history to wear Alternate Uniforms. The first team to wear alternate Uniforms we're the Woodstock Hipis.

Dotre Name Nuclear Powered Nuns

nuclear powered nuns

Owner Bong McJeeberson (a homeless guy from the Streets who won the Kawleyfornia Lottery)
Coach Thong McJeeberson (
His Brother)

Doodle Town Reggies


Owner Buddy Tampon
Snip McPeaceflower

Joined the league in Season 4

Notes: This team was named after Reggie Rejonovich a famous Rapist/serial Killer/Child Predator/Terrorist/Drug Dealer/Bank Robber/Assassin Who was Pardon by the President for saving a kitty cat's life by giving it Mouth to mouth after he saw it drowning in a Pool. Animal rights activists pressured the President into giving Reggie the pardon he deserved even tho he killed 91 people and hurt 308 people both Physically and emotionally.

The guy almost won a Nobel Peace Prize for the emotional speech he gave following the Pardon. He is Doodle Town's only famous figure and the town honored him by naming the team after him.

The City voted for the Team name and it was between The Gremlins and The Reggies and so Obviously the people voted for the hometown hero.

They are best known for breaking Aohell Instant Messengers 10 game winning streak for expansion teams. They won their first 15 games which is the best streak for any type of team. They suffered the same fate as the Instant Messengers. They lost 17-19 to the Redcoats in their first ever playoff game. They won alot of close games in the course of their first season but they couldn't hack it in the playoffs. The next season they went 2-14 and have not had a winning since that Magical Cinderella inaugural season.

They stirred things up a bit by aquring Running back Leeroy Medina and got off to a great start in Season 9. Leeroy retired from Football and decided to come back and sign with the Reggies but there was a rumor going around that Leeroy was traded to The Reggies by Killer Ponies owner Don Elbay for a bite of Owner Buddy Tampon's Burrito.

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